Well, clearly it all starts with the merchandising. Because how can your followers demonstrate their unfaltering support of you and your awesomeness if they can't wear the t-shirt? Tragically, and as demonstrated in previous posts, I'm way too lazy to actually "make" t-shirts, even for my faithful. Without hard-won (or purchased) symbols of their love for me, their devotion - and mine to them because of it - slowly faded. But, now I have found a way around my laziness and can bring my sheep-like followers back into the fold! A friend of my brothers took this photo at a party. A few well placed Google searches (oh, Google, how I adore thee) brought me where I should have been the whole time: the Rockwell online shop. T-shirts and hoodies and satin windbreakers all with MY NAME ON THEM.
Fan-fucking-tastic. Clearly the stars are aligned for my plans to lead a cult a la Fabio in Bubble Boy. But my t-shirts are so much better. "Those who reject him will mutate and burn eternally on Planet PX41, and Planet PX42 if they run out of room." And we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?
1 comment:
I'm in. I'm a follower. I want a hot pink hoodie proclaiming my undying worship to you, oh Great One of Rock.
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